I still can’t believe that I’m going to Hawaii. It still feels like a faraway dream, and nowhere near a reality yet. I guess it’ll feel more real once it becomes February. I can’t wait!!! I really, really need to get away and just clear my mind. I like the snow of winter, but winter itself is such a dull, ugly season.
We’re already more than two weeks into January. I know that time has been going fast, but when you write every day, you can see all the things that occur and it doesn’t seem as fast anymore. I don’t really know how I feel about that. On the one hand, I’m glad that I’m documenting all of my growth and change. On the other, I kind of want time to fly, for multiple reasons. Definitely because I can’t wait to go to Hawaii.
Anyways, I think I’m going to just spend the rest of this evening unwinding. Maybe I’ll watch a movie, or read some of my books of self-love and self-help. I’m really looking forward to this week. I’m going to get a lot done, and keep busy. Also, Anne’s birthday is at the end of this week! That’s something I have to look forward to, I’m really excited to go out for the first time since everything’s happened.
Just a quick emotional check-in before I go; I feel kind of sad. Melancholy? The same thoughts keep going around in a loop in my head, in moments that I have nothing to do.
Look, self. You can’t spend the rest of your existence regretting letting go of this kind of love, in search of self-love, which is the most important kind of love you could ever have in your life. You did what you had to do, one of the hardest things you ever had to do, in order to be better, healthier, happier, functional, confident, secure and self-loving.
You’ve done something that some people fail to realize or do for themselves up until it’s too late and they lose everything because they never knew what they wanted for themselves at a young age. Be proud. Own your self-awareness. Let go of whatever fears that hold you back. Keep reminding yourself, as often as you need to. It’s okay to continuously re-learn the same truths.
^ I love my little self-pep talks. My inner wisdom voice always knows what to say. I’m starting to really look forward to writing these logs. Sometimes they’re the only things that make any sense in my day, LOL. Until tomorrow then!
Bring on the new week and everything it has to offer. Sending me lots of love, strength and positivity!