It is officially 1 am of Day 17 and I have just managed to complete the one thing that I have been incapable of completing for the past 5 or 6 years of my life – my academic petition letter.
While it is only in its first phase, the rough draft, this is probably going to be one of the biggest accomplishments of my entire year. I cannot begin to emphasize or stress how monumental this is. Everything is slowly falling into place because I’m finally putting out into the universe what I want back from it. I couldn’t be more proud or in love with myself.
And the best part? I’m only just getting started. There’s still so much more to come. I’ll continue this log later on in the day. For now, I think I’ve earned myself some sleep. Goodnight me!
…hello, I’m back! It’s now 11 pm, so the whole day has gone by basically. I’m on a pretty good roll right now – today at work, I talked to both my counter manager and department manager about a raise! I have to call my company rep tomorrow to discuss it with her and get her support, and then I have to write an email to my department manager, which will get forwarded to my general manager, who inevitably has the final say as to whether or not I get the raise.
I think it’s looking pretty hopeful, but we’ll see. All that matters is I’m finally doing things for myself, and it feels SO. DAMN. GOOD! Holy crap man. I’m actually so in awe of myself right now. Finally taking control of my life has done so, so much good for me. I’m so proud, and so content.
I’m getting so much done this week! Like, above and beyond what I expected. But it IS what I planned – so I’m very glad that I’ve been doing everything I said I would.
Also, today marks two weeks of being broken up. It was definitely hard at first, as I recorded in my previous logs. I think yesterday was the day that it began to get a little bit easier, and even more so today. I really want to see if we can get back to being friends. But, I made a promise to myself, and so I shall wait one more week before I message him and ask him if it’s okay if we get together so I can give him his sweater and maybe, hopefully catch up.
There’s also a part of me that’s so worried that he and I won’t be able to be friends. There’s all these stupid sayings about how you can’t go back to being friends with someone you were once in love with, because it either means that you were never in love or that you still are. But like… why? Why can’t our relationship change from what it used to be, into something new?
Like I know that’ll take time, honesty, effort and communication, and that he and I both need to want it. I honestly really want to see if we can make a friendship work. I don’t want to be selfish, and for us to be friends just because I’m the only one who wants it. I guess we’ll see in a week.
I’m going to be pretty busy for the rest of this week, so hopefully that’ll make it pass by faster. I’m kind of bored! I mean, I’m really happy about all the great stuff that’s happening in my life. But I’m craving adventure. I want excitement! I feel like a thrill junkie who’s not getting her kicks anymore.
Even though he and I never really saw each other that often, I have all this free time now, oddly enough. Maybe I should go see a movie by myself! Or take myself out to dinner somewhere nice. Just because those were the things that we used to do together, doesn’t mean I can’t do those things on my own.
Although you know, I’ve actually been doing REALLY well with saving money for the past couple of days. Not to mention, I’ve been eating healthier for the past week – no food court meals, no extra unnecessary carbs. And I feel the difference, honestly. I have more energy, and I never feel too full or nauseous from eating.
Man, life’s really looking up. I want to be happy with me, share my happiness with myself and have that be enough. It’ll come in time, I’m sure. Anyways, I should probably grab some sleep!
Goodnight! May your dreams be filled with the adventure that you’re currently lacking, ha. Love you!