Day 38 – February 7th, 2017

Hello! So yesterday, there were some further updates and I wanted to add more to yesterday’s log, but I decided I would just save it for today.

So last night, Nick ended up messaging me to ask me if we were now talking or not. And, it led to this interesting conversation in which I believe we were both very, very honest with one another.

I asked him if he would be okay with us talking again, and that I meant to ask him before he left but he had left so quickly. To which he replied that he had been okay with it from the start, which led me to explaining how I believed that space would have benefitted us both, and that’s how I planned things in my head.

He said that it did benefit, he was able to focus on his career, pay off his credit card and have more time for the gym, which is really good! I asked him if he thought we could be friends, and he said yes, but then he said he didn’t know.

I told him to be honest, cause that would be important to our new found friendship working out, so he told me that he wouldn’t be happy to see my “next boyfriend”, especially if he knew him, which is fair. I told him on my end that I just want him to be happy, and that if he were to meet someone that I would genuinely like to hear about it, if it were okay with him.

He said that he didn’t really care if I was happy and that he’d still want to punch us both, which made me laugh. I explained that in all honesty, I didn’t see that happening anytime soon since I was trying to figure out my stuff. But then for the sake of the scenario, I asked him if that would mean he wouldn’t want to talk about it or know, if it hypothetically were to happen.

He said he would want to know, but not talk about it, which is also fair. And then he asked about me, like if I cared, and if I would want to know and talk about it on his end. And I said I did, that I would always listen and encourage/support. After that, I asked him if there were any other scenarios, and he said there were but that he would deal with them on his own. (I’M SO CURIOUS. Oh well.)

About an hour later, he asked me if it was too soon to do something together. I paused for a moment to check my feelings, and realized that my emotional pH test earlier that morning had garnered successful results on my end, so no, it wasn’t too soon for me. I honestly and genuinely wouldn’t mind it, so I told him so. I told him that it was nice to hang out for the little while that we did, so no, I didn’t think it was too soon.

Then I asked if he had anything in mind or if he was just asking in general, but he said that he did have something in mind. He brought up the fact that 50 Shades Darker is coming out this Friday, and how it’d be weird if he went on his own. I agreed to go, but mentioned that I had work that day. He said he would ask Alexia to come too, and I told him to keep me updated and that if they picked a time that didn’t work for me, that that was okay.

We talked a little bit about how I watched Hidden Figures by myself, but how 50 Shades was a different story. After that, he said that was all and I reiterated about keeping me updated, also as to the location too cause that would affect whether I could make it or not.

He immediately replied that he could pick me up, and then changed his mind a split second later saying that it would be weird, said okay twice, and then abruptly said bye, much to my amusement. He seemed to be texting whatever came into his head in a very quirky awkward kind of way. I said bye too, and that was that.

To be honest, I don’t know if I’m actually going to go or not, but it was nice of him to offer. Yesterday ended up turning out a lot differently than I thought it would, but also that makes me happy! I just wanted to be friends, more than anything. I think that I’m in my good place when it comes to the prospect of a friendship, but I think he’s still trying to figure out that footing for himself, which is totally okay.

We haven’t spoken since yesterday, but that’s better than okay – that’s actually what I wanted. I don’t want us to talk every day because I really feel like it won’t be good for our new friendship. But, now it also feels like we’re finally in that friendship territory, trying to swim these new waters to figure things out.

I like how honestly we spoke to one another yesterday – we were always good with communication when we wanted to be. Now, it’s just a matter of learning the boundaries that this new friendship will entail. So, we’ll see how things go in regards to that. I feel like it’ll be really interesting. I’m just glad that despite the scenarios he described earlier, that it seems like he’s still willing and wants to at least attempt to be friends.

Anyways, today went really well! I spent the day with Chloe, doing my best to cheer her up and bring some positivity to her (also in the form of plenty of junk food, heh). It was nice to talk with her and catch her up with everything that’s been going on in my life too. I love spending time with her; it really is such a nice comfort. I sincerely hope that her knee isn’t too seriously injured and that she can start healing soon.

I think I’m going to start compiling my packing list soon! And also pick out my suitcase; maybe organize some cute outfits that I’m going to wear while I’m in Hawaii. Today was the 2 week mark, I can’t believe it! I know these days are just going to fly by and soon I’m going to be on a plane leaving the country. I CAN’T WAIT! That’s all for now!

I’ll write tomorrow after my shift. I’m so happy that I get to sleep in tomorrow. Is it possible to be addicted to sleep? Because I think I might be, LOL. At least it’s a rather healthy addiction!



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