Day 45 – February 14th, 2017

Not bad for my first Valentine’s Day on my own in six years! So, today was pretty damn amazing LOL. My silly little heart is still doing her victory dance and jumping around. I don’t know what I’m going to do with her, honestly. But she’s me, and I’m her and I love me so it’s all good. I don’t know if any of that made sense but it’s really late at night now and I have half an hour to write this log.

So basically, Dylan worked the same shift as me tonight, and we basically spent about 90% of our shift talking to one another about literally everything and anything that came to our minds. I love how easy to talk to he is! I remember Sera saying something about how he’s quite talkative, and holy crap, I love it so much.

I really feel like we’re making an effort to become friends, and that makes me happy. I like establishing a good and proper foundation before anything else. And hey, if nothing progresses out of this, then at least I’ll have gained a new friend. Albeit an extremely good-looking, muscular, smart, funny, sweet, intellectual, mature new friend, but a new friend nonetheless. He’s honestly so cute.

I learnt a lot about him today! And yes, just like the old days, I’m about to go into detail because I love remembering the little things. Let’s see…

So we talked about Valentine’s Day and how expensive it is, and how it’s just another day of work for us, a Tuesday if you will. I told him that chocolate covered strawberries are eighty bucks at Godiva, and he told me about his friend splurging about two hundred dollars just for dinner, even though there was a set priced menu. We both agreed that we felt sorry for the people who bought into this commercialization of this day.

We talked about so much! I learnt that he’s been having problems with his neck (didn’t ask why/how though, got to do that next time), and how he’s been doing physio for it for the past six months. He told me about how his knee has been making him uncomfortable, and I told him to be careful and told him what happened to Chloe and how she’s at home now because of her knee. He told me how scary it was that he could easily tear his ACL if one move went wrong in his training/fighting, and I told him to take care of that ASAP because it was better to be safe than sorry. I really hope that nothing happens to him because, he’s so clearly passionate about what he’s doing and I would hate for that to be taken away from him over an injury.

He told me that he may be entering a friendly tournament for MMA, and about how he had to lose ten pounds before the match in order to be in a certain weight class. And then, he told me about his last resort way of achieving that – he takes super-hot baths for six hours with tons of Epsom salts and basically gets rid of all the water weight in his body, aka dehydrates himself, which is really not good for the body, LOL.

He taught me a little more about the kind of fighting he does – it’s “Gracie jiu-jitsu”, a derivative from Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and that his trainer actually comes from the family that originated that type of fighting, the Gracie family. He’s been doing it for about six months, but he loves it and hopes to compete for real by the time he’s 22. The tournament he might be entering in April is friendly and will be good experience for him, and although he doesn’t really care if he wins or loses, he does want to win because that’s how he is when it comes to sports.

We talked about sports a little – like how much he loves hockey and how by far it’s his favourite sport. He really enjoyed the centennial game and thanked me again for the hat and scarf (to which I replied that it was the least I could do, for everything he’d done for me). We talked a little bit about basketball too, and I was able to because of what Leila told me today! I explained that my friends are basketball fanatics and that’s why I knew what he was talking about, LOL. I told him that I would love to learn about the world of sports.

We talked about the book he read over the weekend, Win or Learn! He went more in depth as to what happens in the book – it’s about a man who nearly got beaten to death, and then taught himself how to fight through a magazine, started training people in his garage, and then one day, this skinny little kid walked in and they trained together and that kid is now multi-million dollar UFC fighter Conor McGregor. He’s brought this fighter up before to me, so I was able to recall the name. I’ll add it to my reading list, because it seems really interesting but also because I love reading the books that people love – it’s like listening to someone’s favourite song, and learning more about them as a result.

Speaking of song – there was one point that I was walking towards him, and he was like, “do you predominantly listen to hip-hop?” First of all, I LOVE THE WAY HE SPEAKS. “Predominantly”. Ugh, I want to marry him.

I told him that I listen to everything, and I asked why he asked, and he brought up that moment we spent in his car when he was helping me with my allergic reaction. While we were sitting there, J.Cole came on, and I had asked him if he had heard his new album. (So, so cute that he remembered this tiny detail). In all honesty, I had asked because I thought that he was into hip hop. But today, I learnt that while he loves and idolizes Eminem, he’s more so into rock. He likes Cage the Elephant, and told me to listen to their newer album. I told him that I really liked that band he discovered, Goodbye June, and their song Darlin’.

We mutually helped out a couple today and ended up selling something from our each of our lines. As I went to write down the sale, I couldn’t help but tell him that we make a good team, to which he agreed.

He brought me his copy of the Alchemist later in the shift, and told me that I definitely had to read the foreword. I told him I already wanted to read the whole book, I was that excited. I have to thank him again on Thursday (he’s working again) properly, for lending it to me, because I don’t think I did today.

I know we talked about more, like when we interacted with other people and sharks in Hawaii came up and when Daniella kissed her own arms because of how much she loves herself, which made us die of laughter.

But, conclusion of all this detailed conversation I’ve just written down? I have a crush, for sure. He may be four years younger than me, but it honestly doesn’t feel that way when we’re talking, which we do a lot. Also, any moment that he came close to me, be it for checking a price or when he peered over my shoulder to read what I was reading in the inner flap of the book he lent me, I felt some real chemistry there.

I know that I’m definitely attracted to him on a physical level – he’s stunningly good-looking, tall, has gorgeous hazel-green eyes and is very well built. His smile makes my stomach feel all flippy.

But, it’s talking to him and getting to know him as a person that’s really cinching it for me. He’s so easy and fun to talk to, he’s funny, smart, thoughtful, so mature for his age, and genuinely a really good guy. And, I’ve directly experienced his level of selflessness – he stayed by my side throughout the entire allergy thing, and was even about to take me to the hospital in his car. He reads, which is HUGE to me, and he’s got ambitions in so many different aspects of his life, be it personal or academic.

While my heart is leaping, logical me (aka my brain) is keeping a tight leash on my heart. It’s not that I’m afraid of getting hurt or that I don’t want to pursue this – it’s just that I would rather let things happen organically without my feelings getting entangled in everything. I really do want to develop a friendship first. I think friendship is so important, and is the proper and healthy foundation to whatever else this could possibly turn into. In all honesty, it may not turn into anything at all, you never know!

He’s a really great guy and I’m so glad that I’ve met him so that I can know that guys like him really do exist. But when it comes down to it, I literally just got out of a three year relationship about a month ago. I still have feelings that I need to get past, I have things I need to do for myself, and there are definitely still some things I need to come to terms with in regards to my own personal insecurities. While I may be a lot better off now than I was while I was in my relationship, I still have ways to go on this new found self-love journey.

So, friends. (For now).

Well, this turned into a much longer log than I thought it would be, LOL. Definitely because of all the details, but that’s okay! I love the little things. I want to remember every bit of it.

It’s been such a great day, and a fantastic Valentine’s Day. I’m looking forward to the rest of this week! Mostly because once it’s over, I’M LEAVING TO HAWAII!!!!!!!! 6 MORE DAYS!!!!

I’m well into Day 46 territory now so, I’m going to bring this log to its close. Until tomorrow!

Love,

Me.

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