Day 60 & 61 – March 1st + 2nd, 2017

Hello there! So I’m currently on a plane, thousands of thousands of miles up in the air. I just finished watching Moana, which I feel is the perfect way to say goodbye to this trip. I really think I was meant to watch it now, rather than before, to really appreciate the extent of it all. So much makes sense.

Heeding your inner call, no matter how many setbacks you experience and people telling you otherwise. Fulfilling your personal legend has been the message, over and over in so many forms.

I pretty much cried the whole way through! The sea turtle she brought to safety, when her grandmother’s spirit became the glowing manta-ray, seeing the ferns spring to life as the lush foliage grew again once Tefiti’s heart was restored.. I think I understand why I connected so much with this land, the story behind it all, its beauty. Who knows, maybe in a past life, I was Hawaiian.

It was so beautiful. I’m so glad I watched it. My heart ached as the plane took off; it really does make me so sad to be leaving. But, like Moana, I must return home from my journey as well. Changed, and better for it all.

This trip was absolutely incredible. Once upon a time, I used to see signs and omens everywhere. But then, society told me that those who look for signs will simply see them everywhere, to the point they mean nothing. “It’s all in your head”, they whispered to me. And so, I stopped looking. Head bowed, I walked through life and let the glowing colours of my own life force stop beating.

But now, it feels as though the truest essence of my heart has been returned to me. I am Te Fiti, growing again after going so long without her heart. I am Moana, conquering her fears and tirelessly working towards her personal legend, her destiny. That life force that was taken from me, and now returned? It’s hope. 

It is the knowledge that I will be okay, no matter what I do or where I go. It is this intrinsic instinct that knows I will always listen to myself, and to the world, and to the universal language of the world, so that I can always trust in where life will take me.

Even now, the little part of me that society has implanted in my brain is trying so hard to battle against what I have learnt. “Do you hear yourself?” It scathingly spits out back at me. “You sound like a spiritual loony bin. A happy hippie. You sound high.”

One day, I will completely and utterly detach that little voice from myself entirely. Society has had its way with me for years – it’s going to take a while for me to unwire and deprogram everything that has been hardwired into my poor brain and heart. But I will. I have faith. Now that I’ve begun on this journey of self-realization and self-love, there’s no stopping me now. I can’t, and I won’t, turn back.

I write now so that the minute I can feel myself faltering in my certainty, when things get hard, when life’s currents drag me under the water, I will read this and remember. I will remember that life is better lived in love – love of ones self, love of others, love of all. It’s better lived knowing that EVERYONE has a personal legend, but those who listen to the world, those who believe in the omens and signs – those are the ones who become one step closer to fulfilling it.

I will remember to hold onto my new-found hope, to treasure it so that my life-force never falters in colour again. Happiness is WITHIN me, always. I know this now. And I never want to forget.

I still have so far to go, but I won’t dread the journey. I have so much more to learn!! To grow, to see, to experience. I look forward to it all.

When I land back in Toronto, it won’t be as if I am waking up from a dream. I will land with purpose and the intent to make my life what I want it to be. There’s no going back now – only forward.

Sigh. I’m so excited. I feel this excitement within me, as though I’m travelling to a new destination. I just know that’s there’s so much more to come!!!! Every day can be a new journey no matter where you are, if you just choose to see it that way. Rather than just trying to make it past your day, why not embrace it and turn it into a new adventure?

I’m going to miss Hawaii a lot. But, I will never forget what it taught me. And one day, I will go back. I know I will.

Anyways, that’s that! When I get back, I will have to start sorting myself out again. Ready myself to face my parents, which I feel will be one of the biggest tests I will go through this year, in regards to my new self-love.

The journey continues.

Love,

Me.

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