Day 69 + 70 – March 10 & 11, 2017

Hello! I missed writing a log yesterday because I got home around like 1 am and I was way too tired to write a log, so I’m just going to combine yesterday’s with todays!

But first – something just came up that made me feel kind of bad and is now also bugging me. Am I self-absorbed?

Olivia just pointed out that I don’t listen or pay attention to when she talks during our conversation. And I can’t say anything, because she’s right – if I’m on my phone or my attention is elsewhere, it’s hard for me to focus on the conversation. I don’t do it intentionally, but I must admit that it’s something I need to work on.

But then she’s always attentive when it comes to what I’m saying. And even in conversations with other people, I find myself talking about myself but am I making enough effort to ask about them?

I don’t want to be self-absorbed. How can I help people if I’m caught up in the bubble that is my own little world? Things don’t revolve around me – people have their own lives, with very real problems and sadness’s and happiness’s. Am I making enough effort to know more about theirs, in the same way they listen to mine?

From this point on, I want to make a promise to myself – I will make a conscious effort to talk less about myself and ask more about others. Now that I’m practising self-love, I know better than to swear off talking about myself altogether, almost as though I want to punish myself for possibly being self-absorbed. I’ll talk to people about myself as I need to, but I just want to be sure that I’m making the exact same effort back.

I know I have a poor attention span in the sense I can’t focus on more than one thing at once, so when someone is speaking to me, I owe them the respect to stop whatever I am doing so that I can pay 100% of my attention to what they’re saying to me. I never, ever want to become someone whose phone is glue to their hands and eyes – real life is occurring OUTSIDE of that tiny little rectangular screen and that’s exactly where I want to live.

So there. No more. Be mature about this girl. Be communicative. Own up and take responsibility. And then do differently! That’s how you live and move forward.

Anyways, that’s that.

Yesterday was fun – Chloe and I went for drinks and dinner at Moxie’s, and then we went to go see Get Out, which was a really good movie. Today was good too – I had fun at work with my coworkers, made some sales.

Anyways, that’s about all I really want to say right now because I think I have to apologize to Olivia and then maybe eat dinner and watch some Vampire Diaries.

I don’t feel bad for myself!!! This isn’t self-pity, I just genuinely feel bad for not listening to her enough for her to feel like she needed to point it out. I suck. I mean, not totally. But I do, sometimes. It’s not cool.

Anyways, I’ll write tomorrow! Until then,

Love,

Me.

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