Day 101 (although secretly 102) – April 11th (but actually 12th), 2017

Okay so it’s actually 12:31 AM on April 12th, but I was watching the office for the past hour or so, so technically this log will count for the 11th.

It was a good day! I worked out in the morning like I said I would, and then I went to work.

Work was fine – Marilyn brought up the stupid age thing with Dylan again, and I tried to explain that we are JUST friends and that I’m still getting over my break up with Nick, but she’s set in her ways. Fuck. I’m hoping I can nip things in the bud before she gets stupidly obvious and ruins everything, not intentionally I’m sure. Sigh.

But things with Luna we’re good though! She and I went on break together, and we kind of made game-plan/time frame for how we think things would play out with Dylan, LOL. I know I said I’d be patient, and I intend to be, I swear! I’m just curious to know what his mind-frame is on the whole matter. So, next week, there are two home games for the Leaf’s vs Washington. He’s obviously in no way obligated to ask me to a game, but I mean… if they’re facing Washington, chances are that they may not make it to the next round of the playoffs, and these may be the only two games he’d be able to attend on home turf. Ergo, the only chance I’d get to watch a hockey game (this season).

Luna thinks that maybe if they do make it to the next round of the playoff’s, that asking me to one of those games would be more special, so she told me to wait it out and see how it goes.

If he doesn’t ask me to either game, and if the Leaf’s do lose and don’t make it to the next round, it basically negates any potential for him asking me out. Which means, that the next time that we all have a shift together, Luna’s planning on asking him how he feels about me. I think that’ll probably be around the end of April, close to May, which I think is a pretty good time frame.

I’m okay with whatever happens, I really am. Luna and I discussed all the possibilities – either he politely declines and says it’s too private to talk about. Or, he tells her his thoughts. Maybe he is planning on asking me out. And maybe, he’s just not in the head space for a relationship or pursuing a relationship right now. Maybe he thinks that I need space. Who knows! Whatever it may be, I’m ready for. And I’ll be okay with it all, even the bad. Just for the sake of being able to know.

If it comes to the point that I change my mind and I don’t want Luna to ask, I know she’ll listen to me. That’s what I like about her – she jokes, but she’s not invasive and she respects my boundaries. And I really, really appreciate that. I know she’s trying to look out for me.

Marilyn, on the other hand, is thoroughly entertained by all of this. But it’s not funny to me, it’s actually pretty serious. Sigh.

Anyways, that’s about it for today! I’m going to go to get my tattoo tomorrow morning, and then I’m going to come home and look into doing my smart serve or possibly calling that guy to start my g2 lessons as early as next week.

I’ve been giving a lot of advice today to people, based off of what I’ve learnt myself these past couple months, what I’ve gathered from the books I’ve been reading, and based off my own personal experiences. And you know, it’s actually been pretty good advice. I need to learn how to take and live by my own, is what I’m trying to get at here. I think I do a pretty good job of it for the most part.

I have this low-key worry feeling about Marilyn, but honestly, no matter what happens, happens. I can’t control other people, I need to remember that. I can control my actions and reactions. So, I’d rather not worry about things outside of my control. I’m just going to let go and see how things go on. I’m just going to hope that she has some… reserve, when it comes to stuff like this. We’ll see how it goes.

Well, it’s now 2:26 so I think it’s about time I head to bed! Looking forward to a great day tomorrow!

Until then,

Love,

Me.

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