Day 142 – May 22nd, 2017

Well, I did it – I quit today.

I walked in, told them everything I had to say as to what my reasoning was, and that was that. Pretty painless for the most part. I gave back the dresses and everything.

I know I’m going to end up disappointing a couple people, for sure. But, it is what it is. I’m practising self-love in everything I do, and sometimes that’s going to take disappointing people in order to ensure your own well-being. I can’t control people or their reactions – only my own.

Honestly though, I’m pretty relieved. You know, maybe I could have done it, just maybe. But, after one week and not being able to sleep because I kept dreaming about it, and waiting until the moment I got cut so that I could be relieved? I knew something wasn’t clicking. Even in my first week at the job I have now, I was never that nervous or stressed despite the vast multitude of things I needed to learn. I’m just better suited to a retail industry at this point, I believe. But that’s just for now, anyways.

Money will come and go. Right now, I should be focusing on finishing my education so that I can finally and truly move forward with my life. And now, I can do that.

I have to go back on Friday to pick up my paycheque so that might get a little tricky. But hey, once I do, that’s it. Might as well pick up that little extra money, right?

When it comes down to it, I’m proud of myself. I gave it my best shot, I really immersed myself in it and tried my hardest to be excited about it all. But when it comes down to it, it was just too much for me to handle. I know my capabilities. It just wasn’t for me, and that’s okay.

Now I have more time to myself. Which means I can start getting myself reorganized and prioritized as to how I can make the most of the time I’ve just freed up for myself. I’ll address that tomorrow after my shift!

We dropped Olivia off at the camp today! I’m back to being on my own, which is fine. More than ever, I’m truly beginning to enjoy my own company and I know she’s happy there. This is going to be great for the both of us.

I’m going to take myself out, to dinner or to movies or even walks in the park, I don’t know! I just want to have this summer to myself, for the first time in a really long time. I don’t want to be with anyone but me, (and my friends of course).

I can start trying to meditate now! Really get committed to centering myself.

Anyways, that’s about it for today! I’ll write tomorrow after my shift. I’m looking forward to a good week, because I’m going to make it so! Here’s to cutting out the bad in my life to make way for some good. I love me, I always will!

Love,

Me.

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