Day 163 + 164 – June 12th & 13th

 

Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!!! Okay so A LOT has happened within the past two days, and I don’t even know where to begin! HUGE HUGE HUGE NEWS!!!

Okay well, let me start with… I’M LEAVING TO LAS VEGAS IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!!!!!

Basically, Luna has accumulated enough points to book a stay at a hotel, anywhere, and she asked me to come along with her and her sister for a week! I don’t have to worry about where I’ll have to stay or how much it’d cost, or even about food for the most part!!! All I had to pay for was my plane ticket!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!! What kind of crazy, insane opportunity is that, right!? I don’t think I’ll ever, ever receive a chance like this again!!! I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED!!! LAS VEGAS!!

Going on a trip to Las Vegas has been on my bucket list from time!! I can’t believe Luna has been knocking off all of these bucket list goals for me, one by one. She’s honesty amazing, her wanderlust is inspiring! And, another thing that’s going to be knocked off my bucket list: because she and her sister booked their plane tickets earlier since I needed time to see if I could book off time from my jobs and to think about it in general, I booked my plane tickets later and as a result, I’m going to be taking a plane BY MYSELF for the first time in my entire life!!! I CAN’T WAIT!!!! I’m so glad that I’m venturing out into the world and doing all of these things for myself.

The only thing was, Luna picked the last week of June, so I’m going to be missing the Harry Potter show with Leila that we planned from a while ago. I talked to her about it first though before I made any decisions, because of course she’s my first priority and we planned that show from like half a year ago! But of course, she was understanding about it (hence why she’s my best friend!). She understood that receiving an opportunity like this was hard to pass up on, since so much of the trip would be taken care of for me. I’ll definitely make it up to her one day!

I can’t believe it!!! It still hasn’t sunk in yet. Like, I need to pack next week!!! I’m going on vacation!!!!!! Holy crap.

But man, it wasn’t easy to book off though. Like with my regular job, I won’t be getting paid vacation time because three other people are also on vacation that week and this was very late notice. And with my new job, again a lot of people are going on vacation that week and my scheduling manager there only let me have that week off because I’m new, but warned me that next time around he needs at least a month or so of notice. Nonetheless, both jobs are taken care of, so that’s a relief!

This summer looks like it’s shaping up to be an amazing one! So much to look forward to, and I’m so, so incredibly happy!

Although, I have to admit, I had a lot of anxiety this morning. I think it was just a combination of scrambling and trying to get this to work with both jobs and whatnot. And also like, still trying to get the hang of things at my new job, and also residual tension from the drama at work (which has nothing to do with me so I legit don’t care about it, but you know, energy can be hard to avoid sometimes!) And also I have to pack and buy things and it’s all just happening so fast. But, after having this afternoon to myself, I feel a lot more centered and calm.

So, I missed writing yesterday, but it’s because I spent the morning binging and finishing Orange is the New Black, and then I went to work, came home and chilled for a bit, and then went to sleep. There wasn’t a lot to write about, so I just figured I could leave it until today.

Today was good though! I finished early and got to go home. But whoops, I was supposed to stay two hours later than I actually did though. But it’s all good. I’m just going to say I was looking at an old schedule, if anyone asks. I can’t be bothered, in all honesty.

Being detached to the things that really don’t matter is becoming a big priority to me. It’s really helping me to maintain my new peaceful frame of mind, and my centeredness.

All in all, this week is going really well! OH AND! MORE HUGE NEWS.

Yesterday, my mom asked Katheryn if the cottage was free on the weekend of July 21st to 23rd for me and my coworkers to go and… SHE SAID YES! The plan that Luna and I implemented like months ago is finally official!!! But I mean, more than that, I’m actually so excited that I’ll get to share such a special place with my coworkers. And they’re already so excited too! It’s going to be so much fun. I’m hoping that everyone will be able to make it. And I mean, “everyone”… like Dylan, LOL.

I’ve been incessantly day-dreaming about all kinds of scenarios that could take place if he were to come too, a lot of them including me finally confessing how I feel about him, after a good and solid half a year of having this crush. But you know what? I think it took this long for me to get out of the whole chemically-induced and hormone-driven “blind stage” of my feelings, (which are clearly evident in logs dating back from February until now). Now, I’ve settled into this nice state where I genuinely want to get to know him, feelings aside. Which means, I’m suddenly so much more comfortable just being myself, weirdness and strange sense of humour and all. The burn of curiosity has finally subsided into a nice, warm contentment and excitement for a possible “maybe”, depending on what’s meant to be.

Crushes can be so much fun but if you lose yourself to them, they can be equally as dangerous. In a way, I’m glad that this crush kind of went hand-in-hand alongside with my journey to self-awareness and centeredness. Imagine if I decided to completely lose myself in this? Threw everything else to the wind, the way I did in my relationship with Nick? What would happen is: whatever ended up transpiring between Dylan and I as a result, would not have lasted and would not have been healthy. Not in the way I want it to be. The surer I become of myself, the more centered I become, the more in tune with myself I get, the better and stronger a chance that that “maybe” has, later on.

Anyways, that’s about all for today! Tomorrow, I work at my new job in the morning, which will be nice because I get to have my late afternoon/evening. And, I’m excited to see whoever will be there! I actually genuinely like my coworkers so far. Everyone’s been so nice and welcoming.

And, I’m planning on visiting my regular workplace after I finish my shift, in the hopes that Dylan will be there. Well I mean, it’s because when we were talking on Sunday, he asked me if I was in on Wednesday because he’s going to be in, and I said I wasn’t but that I would visit if I finished early, so.

Whatever’s meant to happen, will occur! That’s my mantra and that’s what I swear by.

I think I shall meditate tonight, and read more of my book. Got to keep that positive energy going! I feel that great things are headed my way. I can’t wait!

I’ll write tomorrow after my shift and once I get home! Until then,

Love, all around and always,

Me.

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