Day 299 – October 26th, 2017

Hello! I’m back from work.

I just want to type up a little passage that a friend of my cousin Anne sent to my other cousin Alycia, regarding some life advice that’s actually pretty universal and can be applied to many different aspects of life:

“Remember – we are always presented with situations that are unique to us. They are unique solely to our situation because they are here to help us grow. Every single thing that happens is here to help us evolve as humans, which is the whole purpose of human existence: evolution. So, use this situation as an opportunity to grow. Become independent and fulfilled within yourself. One we are in the proper mindset, we will have more clarity. And a proper mindset is so important because it will help us attract positivity into our life. Things will start happening naturally in YOUR favour.

Life is always changing. Learn to adapt. Fix your mindset. Life will naturally start working in your favour.”

For everything I feel I’ve learnt this year, this simple passage made me realize I still have SO MUCH further to go. There was this passage in “Awakening the Buddha Within”, about how inner peace as a result of mindfulness is like being in an ocean – you’re submerged past the chaos of the surface, unable to get caught in the waves, down in the depths of quiet stillness.

I want to be in the quiet stillness. I don’t want to get caught up in the small, trivial moments of my life. I don’t want to attach unnecessary weight to my thoughts and feelings, and get caught up in the ever-changing flow of the current that is this life.

It’s absolutely astounding how much of a hand we have in shaping and creating our reality. We just believe that things are what they are, accept circumstances as they appear to be, without challenging them any further. Imagine then, if we truly cultivated mindfulness to the point of being aware of every thought and every feeling? Imagine, how we could change our “reality” to shape it into what we ourselves want it to be.

Everything is a choice. Fear is a choice. Anger is a choice. Sadness is a choice. The same way, alternatively, happiness is a choice. Mindfulness teaches us that once you sharpen your awareness and cultivate it into an unshakeable habit, you can cast that awareness at whatever you decide you’d like to manifest. If you choose to focus on your fear, you will feed it. If you choose to focus on your anger, you will light one tree and cause a forest fire in your mind.

Buddhism teaches to embrace these things as they happen, and then to simply let go. You don’t deny the feelings and pretend they don’t exist – you watch them as they happen, outside of them, aware that they are there. And then you let them pass through, and slip away.

Today, I found myself tired. Tired of feeling everything as deeply as I do, tired of caring so much. But that’s a choice too – I’m not altogether too familiar with the idea of detachment, as much as I’d like to practise it. I want to learn more though, I want to learn how to apply it to my life so that I can find a balance between my attachments and what I should be detached to/about. I’m aware that I will never be as detached as the Buddha was, (and yet again, that’s another choice) because I enjoy caring about what/whom I care about. However, there has to be a healthier way to go about it all.

I think it stems back to my own self-fulfillment. Sure, I’ve made great strides in loving myself this year. But I still believe I have so much further to go.

It’s up to me to continue to both re-wire and teach myself. To stay woke, to continually feed the awareness and not allow myself to get caught up in the mundanity, the trivial. To always stay positive, even when it feels like it’s so easy to sink into negativity. I cannot “allow the luxury of even a single negative thought”. I must strengthen my mental willpower until mindfulness becomes my first nature, not even second nature.

Today I learned there is beauty and profundity to even the simplest of truths: “Life is always changing. Learn to adapt. Fix your mindset. Life will naturally start working in your favour.” So simple, yet so undeniably true.

I want to fix my mindset. I will fix my mindset. I will cultivate mindfulness until my mind is a sturdy fortress with a solid, unshakeable foundation. I will get to the point that I will be able to see through and past all the turbulence in life, to see the simple truth in all things I will encounter.

I promise myself this.

And now, off to bed I go. I’ll write tomorrow before my work shift.

Love,

Me.

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