Day 1 – January 1st, 2018

I haven’t had much time to think about this a lot, but I know for sure that I don’t want to stop doing this. I don’t want to stop writing every day or as much as I can, I don’t want to stop documenting all the ways in which I grow and change for the better.

I read through the very first log I wrote for “365 – 2017” and to see that I achieved and manifested very nearly everything I wanted for myself throughout the year was a beautiful feeling. I said 2017 would be my year and I MADE IT my year.

I don’t want to stop doing these logs.

And so, welcome to the newest chapter of 365 – the “2018” chapter, which is bound to be one of the best ones yet.

Not to mention, 18 is my birth day number so if that’s not an omen I don’t know what is.

In the very last log of 2017, I reflected on everything I achieved and accomplished for myself throughout the year. So in this log, I would like to write down my current state of being, and what I would like this year to look like for me. Basically, my “resolutions” – except these are year long goals and habits that I hope to cultivate for myself, not just for the year but to benefit me for always.

So, my current state:

I am now 25 years old. A quarter of a century, leaving behind my teen years and barrelling further towards adulthood.

I am single, and happier than ever. I learnt how to enjoy my own company last year, and I know now more than ever that I still have a lot to learn about myself. I’m glad I made it through the entire year whilst being on my own and focusing on myself.

I am working, just the one job for now that pays well. However, hours are getting cut down for this month so I’m looking into picking up a temporary part time in order to sublimate what I won’t make while my work hours are shorter.

I’m in my program, back in school. I’m keeping up with my therapy, my mental health and well-being. I’m doing my best to maintain the relationships in my life that have come to mean so much to me in this past year.

I am also cultivating my new-found awareness through my ever-expanding collection of books. The more I can feed my consciousness and mindfulness, the more I will be able to practice it better.

So, with that being said, what would I like to achieve for myself this year? What would I like to manifest?

Firstly – I mentioned that I’m 25, headed further towards adulthood. In regards to that, what I would like from myself is to handle my life situations as an adult; I am going to take responsibility for my decisions and choices, and become more responsible in the process. This past year, I’ve taken on some of the bills in the household to pay. I need to start acting like it, instead of acting like I have no financial responsibilities.

Speaking of finances – I mentioned my work situation. That I’ve been working hard and that I sometimes feel as though I have nothing to show for it because of my spending habits. So, I am going to start saving properly this year. I am going to stop spending as though I have all the money in the world to spend, on things that I definitely do not need. I’ve been investing in myself in so many different ways, and now it’s time to quite literally invest in myself by becoming more financially stable and responsible.

In terms of school – I got back into it last year but I didn’t quite give it my truest all. So this year, this will be the year that I laser-focus in on the direction I’d like to take in regards to my potential career. I have to ask myself the hard questions; I want to help people, but how much can I really take? Can I handle working with people with addictions? Am I better suited to maybe talking to people one on one in a therapy sense? If so, how do I go about heading in that direction?

It’s time to start truly focusing on what direction my life will head in in an educational sense. I can’t just be in school for the sake of being in school and graduating. There’s a reason for everything in life, including why I am where I am right now.

That covers the more serious stuff that I intend to manifest for myself this year. So, in regards to living my life in the best ways I can:

I am going to travel more this year, but responsibly. I can’t just pick and choose places and throw around money just for the sake of escaping. If I am going to see the world, I must do it in a way that does not jeopardize my other priorities such as my education or my finances.

Travelling is a privilege, a blessing and a gift. I cannot take it for granted, nor can I abuse it.

So, whatever is meant to be in that regards, will be. But instead of just blindly following my heart, I must now also take my head, my intuition and my bank account into consideration. If it isn’t feasible, then I must learn to let go. Balance is everything. Indulging is fine, but in moderation.

Next, some small every day habits I’d like to cultivate: am going to start meditating again every single day, no excuses. It’s time to start cultivating that into a habit once again. I am going to work out at least three times a week in order the maintain my physical health and wellness. I am going to drink water every day, I am going to write on my vision board each and every morning.

I am going to read at least ten more books (if not more) by the end of this year. I am going to keep expanding that incredible collection of mine in order to feed my mind and soul with the kind of wisdom I need to grow as a person.

Last year, I made it my mission to fall in love with myself and I did it. I love me more now than I ever have in my life and it shows. I took care of myself, both internally and externally.

This year, I am going to deepen that love until it becomes unconditional. I am going to continue to be my own best friend, to take care of myself and be there for me throughout everything I will encounter in this new year. I am going to continue to work hard, stay consistent, stay motivated and want nothing but the best for myself because I know what I deserve.

Which brings me to one of the final things I want to address in regards to what I want for myself this year – relationships.

I’ve spent a year on my own, but I also spent a lot of that year in various states of attraction towards someone. Now that I know he only sees me as a friend, this is the first time in a very, very long time that I’m not actively attracted to anyone. In shorter terms, it’s been a while since I haven’t had a “crush”.

And it feels AMAZING.

I feel like there’s so much more room in my head, if that makes sense.

Here’s the thing though.

While this solitude is truly peaceful and somewhat addictive, I am not going to actively say “I want to be alone” anymore. I started doing that towards the end of last year but I’ve done some thinking.

I am so glad that I truly enjoy my own company. I couldn’t be happier that I find contentment in being on my own. I’m over the moon that I am capable of doing things by myself, such as watching movies or taking myself out to dinner.

But I don’t want to close off any possible opportunities for more or close any doors by manifesting the intention that I “want to be alone”.

No one should be alone. We’re humans, we crave contact and connection and we thrive off of it. I whole-heartedly agree that people should get to know who they are by themselves before they engage in external relationships. And hey, maybe people are perfectly happy being on their own to the point that they don’t need anyone else.

But I don’t want that for me.

So this year, I am open to anything that could happen. Especially now that I know myself better than I have in a very long time, and also now that I know what I want and need from my relationships, as well as what I deserve. But, I will not spend time actively searching for someone. I’m leaving it to the universe. In the meanwhile, I will continue to focus on myself.

This year, I will live life to the fullest. I will find laughter, light and love in every thing that I do. I will find passion and adventure.

I will also be responsible and smart. I will rely more on logic in balance with my intuition.

I’m going to meet new people, learn new things, and grow in ways I never imagined possible.

I am going to continue to cultivate the mindfulness and awareness until it becomes my first nature rather than my second.

I am going to maintain my all forms of my health and well-being by making time for myself and prioritizing accordingly.

I am going to strengthen my current relationships, make the most of the bonds I made within 2017 and continue to make efforts towards the people I’ve grown to love and care about, family and friends alike.

It’s going to be an amazing year. I feel it in every part of my body, my mind and my heart.

Here’s to the newest chapter of the book that is my life. 2018, welcome.

Love always,

Me.

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