Day 105 + 106 – April 15th & 16th, 2018

Hello!!

Darn, I was doing so well writing everyday. But it’s all good! I missed yesterday’s log for a good reason.

Yesterday, Bethany, Bianca and their mom came over to have dinner with me, Olivia and my mom, and it was an incredible girls night – we talked really in depth about what we’re going to do about our dads, and how we can handle the situation in a way where everyone gets to walk away with our sanity in tact.

It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be a long process. But I really and truly hope for all of our sakes that our moms really commit this time and leave. It’s about time they start living their lives to the fullest, as they were meant to. They’ve spent enough of their time sacrificing their time, energy, emotions, mental strength and so much more for these men. And now it’s time to let go.

Anyways, it was a lovely night and I’m so glad that our mom’s have each other and that we have each other as well. There really isn’t anything like family.

Which brings me to today!

I spent this morning watching Jersey Shore when I realized I could feel my brain leaking out of my ears and realized I needed a break.

So I worked out, and then I went grocery shopping, took a nice long hot bath, and then cooked dinner so that my mom would have a nice meal to look forward to after a long day.

As I was cooking though, Dylan messaged me to let me know he was around downtown, searching for tickets to the game. And when he didn’t find any, he ended up at Real Sports bar and told me to come through to hang out! So I did – even though I was in my pj’s and the midst of finishing up with cooking LOL.

I made it in time for 2nd period, and I’m glad I did because we ended up winning!! It was such a good game and so much fun to see Dylan in his element in the midst of something he’s so passionate about.

He had a friend there too, and of course this friend and I ended up in a deep discussion about psychology and the nature of the law of attraction and the power of mindfulness (I honestly can’t help myself LOL I get so intrigued when it comes to people that the questions start and then two minutes later I find myself in a conversation about the meaning of life).

It was cool – that guy said he could tell I had really good energy, that I was conscious and very present. That made me really happy! I’m glad I came out.

And guess what!

No bruise-y after!!!

Sure, it could be because it wasn’t for long and because someone else was there and because we were so focused on the game. But I’ll take any little progress I can get. It actually felt totally friendly and just pleasant to be in his company, not achey and nostalgic for something we never had.

*sigh of relief*

I’m actually so glad. He’s definitely someone I want to maintain being friends with, so I’m glad the feelings really are working their way out of my system (or more so being transferred towards someone else…)

Speaking of that someone else – so as it now turns out, he’s going to be coming over both Friday AND Saturday! Friday, we’re going to have our movie night and Saturday he wants to come over early to teach me how to make homemade Italian pizza, from scratch. Um, insert a billion heart-eyed emojis here.

He was like “how can I resist a double dose” in regards to seeing me twice in a row (so cute!!) and even asked to come over earlier if it was okay with me.

So… I told him if it was easier for him, he’s more than welcome to crash.

Being completely and utterly honest here, no I’m not asking him to stay over for… ulterior reasons. I mean, I won’t say no if those “reasons” happen to manifest organically, of course. But seriously, I’m asking him to crash because a), I genuinely enjoy his company, b), if we’re going to smoke I’d rather him be safe and stay over than make that drive all the way back to Richmond Hill in that state, and c) if he’s going to stay late Friday night and come back early Saturday morning… then where’s the sense in that? He may as well just stay, right?

So I told him, and now I’m just waiting on a reply. At first I was kind of worried about what he’d think, but after everything I’ve learnt and been through this past year, this situation with this incredible person is not a place I want to overthink. I know I can be myself, I know my good intentions and I know he gets me too. So I have nothing to worry about.

Anyways, it’s been a great couple days! I’m glad that this week is flying by at its own pace, but I definitely can’t wait for the end of this week.

I’ll write sometime tomorrow!

Love always,

Me.

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