Day 156 – June 5th, 2018

Wow. Wow.

Okay so, my reading was… incredible. And it was exactly what the lady who read my palm said too, word for word. I received signs in twos, as I normally do… but these signs are massive. Can I let my ego-self and logic-self go and truly believe in what the universe is saying to me? Is my destiny different than what I’ve been told, or am I only asking that because I’m scared to believe in what has been conveyed to me?

I’m going to transcribe my reading word for word here, in case I ever lose the recording. Funny enough though… half of it didn’t record, the half that was very, very important. Almost as if it was just meant for me. But, I’m still going to write down what I remember of it here.

So, she started off by asking me if I wanted to know good AND bad, or just good. She explained that the “bad” in our destiny cannot be changed and is unavoidable, but that that’s not a reason to panic or fret. And a part of me was actually so tempted to just know so that I could perhaps be prepared. But maybe I wasn’t meant to. What if I knew of the bad and instead of letting it be what it was, I tried to prevent it somehow, tried to alter my destiny?

I believe that when you try to fight against what is written, when you try to fight against your destiny (no matter what it is), you are no longer in alignment with yourself, or the universe. I believe that that’s when life begins to lose its colour. As humans, I believe that we are incapable of allowing life to be exactly what it is without labelling our experiences as “bad” or “good” or “sad” or whatever else. We are not programmed to allow things to happen as they do. I don’t even believe in free will anymore because I believe that all of our “choices” are written as well, are destined. Free will is a human construct designed to comfort us into believing that we have a hand in what happens to us, that we create our destinies. It’s a construct that we developed in order to believe that we have some kind of power in this universe, that we are above fate and beyond destiny. But it’s not a bad thing to not have free will!!!! And, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have responsibility for our choices. In fact, when you instead simply surrender to this notion that absolutely nothing is random and everything is predetermined, you can be absolutely sure that whatever is meant for you will come, and in that sense it doesn’t make sense to not have faith in what’s meant for you, and there’s no sense in indecisiveness because whatever choice you ultimately make, will be the “right” one for you. Like, imagine you’re struggling to make a decision. You’re worried that there is a right one and wrong one. But there is no right or wrong decision. The more you try to fight against the idea that it’s all pre-determined, the more struggle you create for yourself. Consequently, if you are even slightly in tune with yourself and your intuition, you’ll end up making the decision (not the right one, not the wrong one), the decision that will bring you one step closer to the destiny that was already written in the stars for you by the universe that you are of, that is you. Ya dig?

Yes, I am high right now.

Anyways, I digressed. Back to the reading.

Before I could answer, she decided it was best if we just focused on me, and focused on the good.

She started off by saying I have lots of worries, and that the worries surround me. (Family, mostly, I’m sure). But, my life is “happy, joyful, and beautiful” right now.

She then said “I see a huge big heart for you. You’re in love, and someone is loving you, very, very much. I can see that you and him, you will be having a life together, for ever and ever. Yep.”

LMFAO. Already at this point, I’m pretty much sitting there with my mouth almost fully open like “wtf”. But then it got even more… mind-boggling.

She said, “you know him, he’s in your life, that’s what I’m seeing. And I do see that you both are very happy together. This is not someone who’s an old, old, old boyfriend – this is someone that is a new boyfriend. I have to mention that, because I see that some time ago, somebody else was in your life. And suddenly, this one came, and swept you off your feet, changed your life and makes you so happy. I love this man! I wish I could meet someone like this too.”

I’m pretty sure if my jaw could actually hit the floor like how it happens in cartoons, it definitely would have. I know for sure it probably looked like my eyes were about to pop out of my head, that’s for sure.

She continued, “He’s a really nice person. He’s in the middle of something right now, either an important job change or something to do with his career. He’s going to be a very successful person though, so there’s nothing to worry about here.”

(A couple weeks ago, he actually told me he was in the midst of looking for another job, a more full-time stable job with more hours and stuff. He’d actually sent in his resume to a couple places around that time too).

“Is he doing something to do with a program? He’s either taking something, or completing something. It has something to do with programs of some kind.”

Me: “He’s in the midst of two jobs actually – he’s does commentary for soccer games and-”

Her: “Yes, he’s in a sports related field right now, that’s what I keep seeing. Oh and, he works at a gym also.”

(Me inside my head; HOW THE HELL DID SHE KNOW THAT)

Her: “That’s what it is. So those programs there, that’s what he has to keep up with all the time.”

She then moved onto my past, about my exes:

“Your ex, he’s going to try and make his way back to you. Actually, he asked already – did he ask already? And you said no?”

Me: “Yeah, I did.”

Her: “You know what, this guy wasn’t a bad person. But he didn’t know how to be in a relationship. You know, sometimes people say stuff like, “oh, I love you.” But they don’t know what relationships really are! And I can see, that this person definitely did not know. He really isn’t a bad person, but he’s not going to make you happy either.”

(Back to Adrian) “You want someone like him – someone down to earth, someone really nice, someone really good, and he wants to keep you forever. That’s what I can see in his mind. Has he told you this already?”

Me: “No, not yet. It’s very new. Very new, heh.”

Her: “Very new, that’s what I’m seeing too. It’s definitely not been years and years, it’s new and fresh. It’s so nice though. It’s very passionate, and it’s exciting.”

She then started getting more in depth about Adrian, which was actually pretty interesting. It’s almost as though it was as much his reading as it was mine, if that makes sense… anyways, this is what she said about him:

“I can see that someone in his family, (and you’re going to hear about this too), a man, has some serious health issues. Is there someone he’s already told you about that had serious health issues in his family?”

Me: “Well, his mom passed away from cancer about five years ago…”

Her: “Yes. Yes. That was years ago though. This is someone else, someone else is also going to die. But not yet.”

(Me, in my head: Oh my dear lord.)

Her (continuing on about his mom): “He still has pain in his heart. When your mother goes, it’s not something you want to deal with, and the pain never goes away. It’s always there. It’s unbelievable but it’s true. Moms are special. Cherish your mom. She’s a really nice lady. And you do love her.”

She then mentioned that she sees a move coming up, a move having to do with my mom. I wondered if maybe this was about the condo that we recently invested in, or the conversation we recently had about how we all want to move out of this house and away from my father. This is what she said about that:

Her: “Do you live with your mom?”

Me: “I do.”

Her: “Yeah, that’s what I see. A move coming. Or maybe… with your boyfriend, later on. If, you want to. But that’s too soon. Don’t. Wait at least a year. Then, any time after that.”

She then talked about my current job:

“Your work right now, that you currently do. You like it. At first, you didn’t like it very much. But now, you love it. You are happy.”

And she was right – when I was working for the company directly, I hated it but loved the industry. Now that I’m a demo, I’m so much happier with my job, especially since I don’t have all the responsibilities that I had before when I was once an associate.

She then out of the blue mentioned that about 5 or 6 months ago, something happened, and I was still carrying a little bit of that sadness with me.

Her: “Five or six months ago, something has happened in your life, and you still carry a little sadness. Did you break up with someone? Your ex, at this time?”

Me, (not quite catching on yet): “Five months ago… well-”

Her: “No, you broke up with your ex much longer ago than that.”

Me: “Yeah! I broke up with my ex at the beginning of the year last year, at the very beginning of 2017.”

Her: “Five months ago though… oh! It’s through a friend. I see a friend here, someone who is very nice, and that person I do see also broke your heart.”

Me, (realizing it was about Luna, and what happened during Christmas): “Yeah… yeah, she did.”

Her: “Yes. It’s a friend. Not an ex. Do you still not talk to her?”

Me: “Not really… a little bit, but not too much. I’m not sure if I trust her completely yet.”

Her: “She’s not a bad person. But, she can’t keep a secret.”

Me: *laughing a little* “Yep, that sounds like her.”

Her: “Sometimes, not everyone is the same. People are different. Maybe I can keep a secret, but you can’t. It’s just people’s nature.”

She then offered me some advice that I feel is going to pertain to my current relationship with Adrian, moving onwards:

“When it comes to your life, this is my advice to you. Never, ever, ever share what’s going on in your life between you and your boyfriend or husband with anyone else. Never share any of that with anyone. Even if they ask you. You just say, “I don’t want to talk about it”. Simple as that. “My personal life belongs to me.” Because, every time that something comes out about it, people have different ideas about it, and it’ll make you confused in your relationship. The idea that “this is too fast” or anything like that – don’t listen to what anyone says.”

She continued onwards about other aspects in my life. Such as:

“You have a trip coming up. Where are you going? I think you’re going on this trip with a girl, and another girl. A couple of girls, both of these girls are young and beautiful, and all of you will be travelling together. Where are you going? You know already?”

Me (thinking of how Luna recently asked me about her and Lana tagging along with me to England possibly if I visit Olivia in August, but how all of this is up in the air and not likely): “No, I don’t think so…”

Her: “It’s going to be in the month of August or September. It’s going to be a sudden decision, but it’s a very joyful and very pleasant trip, and also safe. I don’t see any problems.”

(Funny enough, not only did Luna ask me if she and Lana could tag along with me to England in August, she also recently asked me if I could come along with her to Iceland in September… Hmm, I wonder what’s meant to be!)

She then brought up the fact that I’d been in an accident, years ago (at this point, I’m no longer as surprised by what she knows but taking it all in stride as much as I can. It was still mind-boggling though):

Her: “Since you’ve had your accident… you had an accident a couple years ago?”

Me: “Yeah, 2013 I believe.”

Her: “Time to time, you feel something here and there… pains. Pay attention and always look into it, and do something about it. You did settle with the accident, you signed papers and got a little money out of it but… you didn’t get a lot. You should have gotten more. You didn’t get enough. Because it’s your life, right? But, perhaps because you’re young.”

(Yeah. Her insurance covered my physio, and man the documentation I had to do for just that. It’s all good though!)

She then mentioned that there’s some kind of celebration coming up, possibly within my family. Someone is going to celebrate something like an engagement, not a wedding, but definitely something worth celebrating.

After that, she started talking about my long-term career goals.

Her: “More or less, you’re going to stay in the same industry. I don’t see a major change coming. You’re going to stay in this field. But… have you decided already?”

Me: “No, see, I don’t know, I’m in the midst of my psychology program, and I do love psychology, I love working with people. But, for the past seven years since I started university, I’ve dropped out, I’ve gone back… I don’t know if what I want is to stay and graduate or…”

Her: “Yes. Stay and graduate. I do see the same industry that you have been in. You should stay because there will be success and more money for you. You’re going to like it! You’re going to love to see people, talk to these people, and I see that you will always be joyful and happy. Don’t change it! Don’t change it. Because you still have a year or two to go, since you haven’t been working towards it, it’s been a couple of years. So, go back, finish it, and you’re going to see that you’re going to be successful with it. Trust me. You chose the right thing for you. Somehow, something that has happened during that school time or during that school year that you started, you changed your mind suddenly. You wanted it so much with all of your heart, and then suddenly when you walked in and you started, you wanted to run away. No, don’t do that! This is so powerful. And you know, you’ll see, in the future, you will see the results and you’re going to be so happy. You’re not going to doubt it, you’re not going to have any questions. And you’re going to be successful. You could do a private business, or work in places, or work with other people together… but, I definitely see a good, bright, shiny future for you.”

She then referred to my current job:

Her: “You could work here also. But, this isn’t a career for life.” And I agreed.

She said that I get back pain from time to time, and that it stems from my job. We talked a little bit about my health, and she warned me to stay conscious about my weight (which is such a funny coincidence since I have been concerned about it as of late, and just yesterday I got back to the gym with Olivia after months of not going. Guess I’m on the right track!)

She then went back to the current state of my heart and its affairs:

Her: “You know, your heart, you know how happy it is right now? I can’t even begin to tell you. It’s so joyful, and so good. And this guy, I see him in your life – he’s the best, ever. From all the people you knew. I know you didn’t have dozens of boyfriends – you only had a couple. It’s important that he came alone, now. Also, you and him are going to go on a trip too. He’s going to be the one to offer, the one who’s going to ask you if you will go with him. And you will. It’s going to be pleasant. Anything and everything I see with him is good.”

Here’s where it got a little uncanny…

Her: “He has an ex, but you know this already, don’t you?”

Me (baffled as fuck): “Yeah. Yeah, he dated her for about five years, and they broke up right before he met me.”

Her: “Yes. They were in a committed kind of relationship. But right now, their relationship *gestures downward*, it went downhill, like that. And, I don’t see that he’s missing her or anything. No. She’s not a sincere person. She’s okay, but not sincere. So, she’s going to let him go.”

This part made me laugh, because as true as it was it was also quite funny that she was able to see this:

Her: “I like his body. He has a beautiful body.”

Me (not even trying to stifle my giggles): “Yeah! Yeah, he totally does.”

Her: “Yeah! He works out every day. Almost every single day. You should work out with him too. And then you’ll be like, voom.” (LMFAO).

And here is where my phone somehow magically failed, and stopped recording. Which is funny, because this was the part of the reading that coincided the most with exactly what the lady who read my palm said to me. But it makes sense. Perhaps that palm reading, and this part of the reading that is only preserved in my memory now, perhaps those vibrations are meant to be protected, and held close to me and only me. Because these are the parts that are, in essence, most important. So, I’ll only touch upon them briefly here.

Both the palm-lady and this woman said that this new person who has entered my life, is my soul-mate. Both of them said that.

And both of them said that money was on its way to me, by unexpected means.

A bit more in depth about the whole soul-mate thing though: the palm lady basically said exactly word for word what I heard today – that the person who’s going to show me what real love is has just entered my life. That I’ve never really and truly been in love before, but that that was going to change thanks to this new person. And, that she’s so happy for me and wishes she could be there in the moment I finally realize it myself. (Apparently I will by October, which she happened to know was my favourite month.) From the coffee-reading lady: she said that I have no reason whatsoever to be afraid. She could sense my hesitation right off the bat as soon as she said the word soul-mate. But she said that I’m lucky, that people search their entire lifetimes and beyond to find this person that I’ve happened to find. And she said that he has no reason to fear either. She said that the massive heart she can see in my cup is complete now, because I’ve finally met the “one”, and he feels the same way.

She also knew that Adrian was an old soul, but younger than me (she compared it to the same way that Meghan Markle is older than Prince Harry, LMAO).

All in all, it was a beautiful, positive reading for the most part. And just… mind-boggling. I’m calm yet shook. I just… I mean, I found what I was looking for, you know? I asked the universe for this and it heard me. I’ve always said my signs come two-fold, and one after the other, they did. The uncanny similarities between the two readings cannot be coincidence, and I know that. I know the threads of destiny are written and are unfolding as I speak.

I don’t know how I feel. I feel… happy, content. I feel like somewhere deep down, I knew all of this already. I feel like I was just searching for confirmation for curiosity’s sake, almost. And I know the fear I feel is all stemming from my ego and logic-self, which dies a little more each and every day. So, yeah.

What an incredible day it’s been.

I did tell Adrian that I was going to see this woman but… I don’t know if I’m going to tell him about this reading, in depth. I told him about the palm lady too, but conveniently left out the part about how apparently the “new person” that’s entered my life is my soul mate. And now, all of this? It was already mind-boggling for me to hear everything I did about both myself and him. I can’t imagine how he’d react to hear a complete stranger knowing about some of the most intimate details of his life, through looking at coffee grounds in a saucer. I don’t know if he’d freak out per se, but I definitely wouldn’t blame him if he did.

Eh. Maybe I’ll show him a couple years down the line, LOL.

Despite hearing everything I have, I’m not attached to it. I’m still open to whatever could happen. Yes, I do believe our destinies are written. But I also believe that there are threads, constantly shifting and changing. What is written will ultimately occur, what is meant for you will ultimately find you. So, I choose to maintain my faith in that and continue to go with the flow I’m currently on.

Do I believe that we’re soul-mates?

Maybe. I can’t explain a lot of this, and neither can he, but we’re both okay with this fact. Actually it’s funny, we were just talking about this; I told him recently how I can’t explain any of this, but for once it’s okay that I can’t, and that I’m just happy, simply and completely. And he was like, “Then let that guide you. Simple and unexplained happiness is one of life’s best feelings. You bring a smile to my face like nobody else can, so I completely understand the sentiment. I think we’ve both been blindsided by the same emotions.”

I agreed, and told him I was letting it take me where it would, and happily so. I also said that as blindsiding as it was, I was glad that the feelings were mutual.

And his reply to that was: “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate and value that point of view – you’ve let this be so enjoyable with your openness, trust and confidence. I don’t know why, but it’s just so easy. Like everything just syncs between us. The fact that we’re on the same page most of the time just makes it so easy to function – and to be ourselves.”

That’s exactly how I feel about this, about us, too.

So, yeah. I never thought I could meet my soul-mate. I wasn’t looking for this, you know? I was so focused on fulfilling and completing myself above all, first. Maybe that’s the reason that I’ve attracted this into my life though. Maybe all the work I’ve been doing on myself created the kind of vibration that manifested this level of blessing. Maybe… I was finally ready.

Time will tell.

Anyways, that’s all for today. Radha came over after my reading and we smoked up and legit, our vibes were on this exact same level to the point that she was taking the thoughts right out of my mouth before I even spoke. It actually got quite funny sometimes. It was a good chill day, for sure.

I don’t quite know what tomorrow holds for me exactly, but I’m excited nonetheless.

Here’s to… life. And life’s so-called mysteries that truly, aren’t really mysteries at all. Here’s to fate, to destiny, to surrendering. To letting go. To letting be. To being at ease, and at peace.

Love always,

Me.

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