Day 272 to 274 – September 29th to October 1st, 2018

IT’S OFFICIALLY OCTOBER 1ST, 2018 AND IT’S SO EXCITING TO BE ABLE TO TYPE THAT! TODAY MARKS THE START OF WHAT’S BOUND TO BE ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING, MAGICAL, FANTASTIC, AMAZING MONTHS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! I DON’T KNOW WHY AND I CAN’T EXPLAIN TO YOU WHERE THIS FEELING IS COMING FROM BUT I GUARANTEE YOU – MARK MY WORDS NOW – THIS MONTH IS GOING TO BE PHENOMENALLY INCREDIBLE!

Yes, my level of excitement required- nay, demanded- that I write the entire first paragraph in all caps as to denote a shouting tone.

It’s been a great start thus far! I spent this rainy chilly day at home, studying away in preparation for an upcoming midterm I have in the midst of this week (which I’m actually kind of excited for because it’s one of my favourite classes and I know this exam is going to be a cake-walk). [Side note – where does the phrase “cake-walk” originate from? I must remind myself to look this up afterwards].

This entire month is jam-packed with so much incredible fun stuff that I must, must, MUST remember to take time to myself to rest, reset and recuperate. I’m slowly getting better from that cold I got now and I don’t want to take my health for granted; without it, I won’t be able to fully enjoy and partake in all the things I want to this month.

Like this weekend, after my exam, I have Shada’s birthday party Friday night, Radha’s birthday party on Saturday night, and then Monday, all the cousins and families are getting together for our annual Thanksgiving dinner and shenanigans which I’m SO EXCITED FOR!

And then the weekend after this one is Leila’s birthday, and then the weekend after that is my birthday weekend (off to the cottage), and then the weekend after that is Halloween weekend, which I’m sure we’ll find something to do!!

Not to mention, during my birthday week I also have the Florence and the Machine concert to look forward to as well as the day of my birthday (Denny’s again? Who knows!) BEFORE the cottage weekend so that week is going to be nuts in itself.

…holy crap this month is literally going to fly by, isn’t it?

I promise, promise myself that I will do my best to enjoy each and every single moment I find myself in, while I’m in it. Or else I’m going to blink and end up in November, wondering where the whole month went. I also promise to write as much as possible as I can within this month because I genuinely don’t want to miss or forget about a single bit of it!

Anyways, this past weekend already got off to a pretty great start – Chad, Radha, Olivia and I went to an overnight art fest in downtown and between the four of us, it was actually such good vibes! We were like, telepathically connected at one point; on the train, we were all standing in different places and not talking but I swear I could hear what everyone was thinking when we all made eye contact (but also, we had a lot of edibles LMAO).

Here’s the thing though – later on in the night, Avery ended up joining us and at first, everything seemed fine. In fact, it was so good to see him again and I so badly wanted to catch up.

But… something was off, I don’t know. Maybe it was because of how loud and busy the night was. Or maybe it was the fact that Avery was being quite mean to Chad, like excessively so. At first it was just harmless teasing, but then as the night went on it got a little much to the point that I had to reassure Chad that Avery was just joking (even though I myself was quite taken aback).

Avery just, seemed different. We do have plans to hang out next week, so I’m intending to bring this up with him in person.

I know people change – no one stays the same over time. But like, it’s only been about two months or so since I’ve seen Avery last. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for the meanwhile, but I definitely have to say something next week when we hang out. Especially since it’s super important to me that everyone feel welcome and comfortable during my birthday weekend at the cottage – the last thing I want is for anyone to feel uncomfortable in any way, shape or form. Good vibes only!

Okay. One last thing before I wrap this up.

I know I tend to have trouble both starting and finishing things that I want to do. I say I want to do something, and I usually a) never get around to doing it or b) I start it, but never get around to finishing it.

But when it comes to my book…

There are relentless signs from the Universe constantly coming my way, reassuring me that this is what I’m meant to do. I have people giving me business cards of authors, I have people communicating to me via the people closest to me about networking and connections, I even have authors themselves somehow connecting with me out of the blue. Now more than ever, people are reaching out to me and asking me for advice that could easily be accessible through the book I know I can write. All signs are pointing to the fact that the Universe is indeed conspiring with me to make this happen… so why am I not doing my part? Why haven’t I started?

I keep saying I have no time, but have I really sat down and given myself the opportunity to do so? No, honestly I haven’t.

Maybe it’s because a part of me is afraid. Thing is with that though – I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to be afraid. This is what I was meant to do. The minute I decide to really touch pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), it’s going to flow out of me in the exact ways it was meant to.

I want it to be perfect – but it absolutely will be, for everything that it is! This is so incredibly important to me, and I keep saying that, but my actions are not reflecting it. I have to change that. This month is going to change everything.

Next week is my reading week, but maybe I can treat it as my “writing” week too – and really get started on writing this book.

I closed my eyes and imagined myself opening up a fresh new document, and really giving myself a chance to start. And it feels good, it feels so exciting and right and amazing.

I want this. I have to do this. I was meant to. This is my Personal Legend.

Anyways, that’s about all I shall say for tonight! I’ll write sometime this week, probably after my exam but before this weekend for sure.

Here’s to what’s bound to be an incredible month, and to being present within every single moment of it.

Love always and in every way,

Me.

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