Day 283 to 287 – October 10th to 14th, 2018

Hello, hello!!

Continuing on in the whole “October is going to be a great month theme”, these past couple days have been FANTASTIC. This past week was my reading week, and I finally got some time to myself to be at home and just recuperate from how busy the previous week was.

However – this past Wednesday, I finally hung out with Avery properly after so long. And I was right – something was wrong, I know him well man. When things get difficult to the point that he doesn’t quite know how to talk about it with others, he disappears for a little while because he gets the impression that in that state, he’s going to be a burden to the people he cares about. He admitted that this particular time he was feeling pretty low, (enough to be on the depression spectrum), and things got pretty bad.

But, the Universe definitely heard him out and threw him a massive bone this time in the form of something he least expected – he met someone. Or rather, he re-met someone, after years and years of coincidental “almost’s”. The story is long and beautiful and spans across years and I honestly couldn’t be happier for him. I know exactly how he feels. It’s almost unbelievable, and yet… it’s real. He acknowledged the magic of it all, but is intending to take it slow. I’m so excited for him! He’s about to start a brand new chapter of his life with someone new.

I’m glad things are back to normal with us. I completely understand why he did what he did, but I also made it clear that we’re in our mid-twenties now and there’s no such thing as “being a burden” when you’ve known someone for this long. If we can’t turn to each other now, then what? He understood where I was coming from too, and said he would try to make more use of our friendship when he needed to, which made me happy.

Anyways, later on in the week (the Friday), Adrian and I decided to have a Halloween movie marathon – he told me to pick the movies and that he’d take care of the rest. And he meant it; he picked up some pumpkin spice cookie dough with cream cheese frosting chips (*drool*), and we ended up ordering in some pizza that we ate after smoking up bit. It was such a perfect cozy night in for such a chilly October night.

In between the movies and cuddling, we were talking about the moments we first met and started getting to know one another. And I couldn’t help it, I was so curious – I asked him if he felt like he has, gotten to know me I mean. After the time we’ve spent together.

He hesitated for a moment, and was like “well I mean, I still feel like there’s still more to get to know about one another. But there’s plenty of time for that.”

Honestly, that night I was kind of asking the Universe for an answer because lately I’ve been heavily considering being straight-forward and just telling him how I feel, right to the depth of it all. But after he said that, it made me think. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.

Actually, “getting ahead of myself” is the wrong way to phrase things. I’m so happy, so incredibly happy. And I’m also very certain of how I feel, I’ve known from what feels like the start. But, I also agree with him too. There’s still more to get to know about one another, and there really is no rush. I don’t think he’s ready for anything more than what we are right now, but I also know that I definitely make him as happy as he makes me, too. I can see it in his smile when he’s looking at me.

And you know what? I’m not really “holding back” when I think about it – I do tell him how much he means to me, in little ways. I make it clear that I think he’s amazing, I tell him as much as I can how much I appreciate him and that I think he’s the best. In fact, he mentioned that that’s also one of the reasons he likes me so much; because I never let him feel like anything less than special. So it’s not like I’m repressing my feelings or holding back, per se.

And he does the same with me. We’re constantly finding ways to express ourselves to one another.

I have to remember this. Because it’s so easy to fall back into the idea of a “timeline”, or the that things are supposed to happen a certain way at a certain time. It’s not. That’s society’s trap, and I don’t want it. I’m happy. I don’t need anything more than this right now. He gives me all the reassurance I need in everything he says, and more important through everything he does.

Everything is going to happen exactly as it’s meant to, when it’s meant to. I won’t stop saying it, to remind myself to have faith.

Anyways, the next day (yesterday) was Leila’s birthday get-together at Dave ‘N’ Busters, and it was sooooo much fun! I was so excited to give her her gifts, and once I finally did she seemed so touched and so happy, which made me happy.

Adrian tried to meet up with us, but accidentally went to the wrong hotel (omg, the poor guy LMAO). He still met up with us just as we were leaving in order to prove himself and also to give Leila her gift (he got her low-sugar white wine, so thoughtful).

He finally met Cory, as well as Trevor, and even Shada and Adelaide! He seemed to get along well with everyone and had a great time himself. He liked my friends, and he was happy he’d come out.

There was a really cool magic show we got to watch, and me, Krystal and Adrian bonded through playing multiple games together since Chad wasn’t feeling too well and couldn’t make it. It was a lot of fun!

I have no idea how many times I had to say, “so-and-so, this is Adrian. Adrian, meet so-and-so.” But you know what I realized afterwards? It wasn’t awkward at all! Like, no one was asking “oh, is this your boyfriend?” or anything like that! I remember I used to be kind of worried about situations like that because I didn’t quite know how to introduce him, but it actually worked out really well!

Anyways, that’s about it for this weekend. Yet again, it’s been another amazing week of October. And there’s more yet to come – this week, yes I have an exam this Tuesday. But after that? That same Tuesday, the birthday shenanigans begin; I have the Florence concert right after my exam, the next day weed is getting legalized and Olivia and I will be heading to Denny’s that night for my birthday tradition of my free grand slam breakfast at midnight, the next day is my birthday and Adrian’s taking me out, and then the next day, we all leave to the cottage for the whole weekend! Holy fack. It’s going to be SUCH AN AMAZING WEEEEEK! I’m so excited!!!

Anyways, that’s all for today. I’m going to chill out for the rest of the night and possibly finish How I Met Your Mother. I’ll write when I can! I’m sure this is going to be a week I definitely don’t want to forget in the slightest. Until then!

Love, love, love,

Me.

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