Day 7 – January 7th, 2019

LOOOL I keep typing in “2018”, backspacing and adding the 9, and it’s already been a week of this year! I guess I’m still taking some time to get used to this new year (even though it’s already been so good to me).

Well, I’m back to school this week! And I only have 2 work shifts, so I’m going to have plenty of free time. So, what will I be doing with this free time?

Well – I definitely intend to go to the gym at least twice this week, and then up it to 3 times next week. And even if that means just working out here at home, I’m still going to count that. I have to start somewhere right?

I’m also actually making good strides in the book I’m currently reading, “the Rebel Buddha”. It’s amazing that I only just began reading it now because funny enough, it pertains exactly to what I’ve been talking about and thinking about as of late, the whole “audience vs. main character” thing.

In this book, he compares the primary stream of consciousness to being awake inside a dream. You think the dream is real, so you live and act accordingly within this dream, even though something seems off. Meanwhile, your true waking self is struggling to seep through, trying to make you wake up.

It talks about the clarity we are all capable of living with and living through. The “rebel” within, the one who sees and acknowledges all. I was thinking – breathing is so automatic to us that we take it for granted at times. It’s something we depend on our minds and bodies to do for us constantly, it’s not something we actively think upon or have to remember to do.

But imagine if we did have to? Imagine if something as “simple” as breathing was our personal responsibility to maintain and remember to do on a constant basis. We would never take it for granted again because we would need to be aware of it in order to stay alive.

That’s what that wakeful state is like. It’s being so aware of every single aspect that comprises our lives and our “selves” that we have no choice to be in constant awareness of our actions, reactions, choices and decisions. To be MINDFUL, instead of mindless.

It’s so hard to be constantly mindful because we are always so in the midst of our surface selves, always existing on that plane. But mindfulness is like breaking through the surface after living underwater and truly experiencing what being able to breathe air feels like. We’re so used to drowning that it’s become our norm – this is how we believe we live.

Anyways, I’ve spent the past two years wondering if I could ever access or live from the audience, and this year I’m making it one of my goals to stay in touch with my deeper self and grow from there. I’m going to continue to work my way inwards until I know myself as deeply as I can. Conquer yourself and you conquer the world, right? Because you’re the one who shapes your reality.

That’s about all for today! Maybe in my logs moving forward, every day I can talk about something new I learn from the books I read or the conversations I have. Writing about it (and talking about it) is the best way to teach and reiterate the lesson to myself, I believe.

Until tomorrow then! I go back to work tomorrow and hopefully I’ll actually sell something because I haven’t sold a single thing since this new year began, LOL.

Love always,

Me.

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