Day 218 to 220 – August 6th to 8th, 2019

This is probably the most consistently I’ve written in months! I don’t even think this is going to be a long log but it’s nice to know that the impulse to write is slowly coming back. And better yet, I’m acting upon them! Go me, go me, go me. (And yes, I did a little dance as I typed that).

Mini update: the medication seems to be going well. Is this what it feels like to be a normal person with a regular level of motivation to get through what seems like menial daily tasks? I feel amazing, and not in the stimulated medication sense – I feel amazing because I’m actually getting things done.

It’s still a process though, because sometimes I still need to argue with myself a bit and I lose. But, I feel as I adjust to this dose of medication, that I may be able to adjust to a higher dose eventually? I definitely want to play with dosages before I get going with school again so I know what works best for me.

I finally saw Adrian yesterday!! My goodness I missed him so. I honestly wonder if this is how it felt when I went away too. But like it’s nice to know that I did miss him, because I never miss anyone, ever. It’s weird that I don’t, but that’s just how I am. Nevertheless, if he decided he wanted to take a year off to travel the world, I would wave him off on his merry way and know he’d find his way back to me. Our love for each other is free of attachment and therefore, freedom in itself.

Anyways, I’m off for the next four days from work which is WONDERFUL, and I plan on making the most of it. Tonight I’m going to hang out with Olivia and Chad at Vape Lounge, tomorrow I’m going to see a movie with Adrian and then the wedding is happening this weekend, which I’m so excited for! I can’t wait to dress up and drink and dance the night away with him.

Life’s actually going really well these days! I feel like since I’ve started being more proactive, organized and motivated, that things have been flowing as they should. Especially since I’ve been trying to put more effort into my relationship with the Universe! Synchronicities are slowly making their way back into my life, and it warms my heart every time I notice a new one.

Also, I finished my vision board and it’s AMAZING! I love it so much. Everything that I was scared to dream of, everything that I could ever want for myself, is on that board. It’s pretty detailed, but I’m finally ready to send out that certainty to the Universe, to start generating the gratitude that will allow me to manifest those dreams into my reality. I’m so happy I did it!

And I just saw a synchronicity this morning about how someone’s dreams came true; an opportunity they thought they’d missed out on actually found its way to her, and it turns out it was somewhere on her vision board without her even realizing!

I’m so excited for everything I will shape my life into – not from a need, but from a genuine enthusiasm to create my life with me and with the Universe. To live in an abundance mindset, and not the kind of mindset that comes from a quick and temporary gratitude. I’m in this for the long haul.

Anyways! I need to start getting ready to go hang out with Chad and Olivia. I actually kind of miss getting out, since I’ve been at work and indoors so much as of late! Got to make the most of those last summer days.

I love me, I love life, I love all things and I love everyone.

Love always,


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