Day 6 – January 6th, 2020

I feel like these days, I’m always on the brink of tears – I want to cry, because I’m so filled with this overwhelming sense of love, peace, happiness, excitement and gratitude. Everything is just culminating in this massive movement of faith within my innermost being, all the messages I need I am receiving one after the other, and I just… I’m so unbelievably thankful. I think I need a day to just reflect on all of this and cry my eyes out because I’m so happy, LMAO.

There’s so many things I want to do, my body is literally vibrating with energy. But I have to be patient. I’m glad I have all of this motivation and excitement. But I have to take things on, one at a time, as lovingly as I can. Everything is going to happen this year because I’ve finally stopped resisting. I’ve surrendered EVERYTHING to the Universe, to my guides. I know what my dreams and goals are – but I’m not going to frantically scramble towards them out of fear or desperation. I’m making them clear to myself, to the Universe, and then letting them go. I’m allowing what is meant to be without trying to control the process or the outcome.

I’m honestly so excited for each and every single day. Who I will meet, what I will learn, what messages I will receive, how I receive them, the signs and synchronicities.

Oh! In the book I’m reading, it says to make clear to the Universe when/how you want a sign when you’re deliberating about something or when you need confirmation to know you’re on the right path. I initially made my sign my birthday (seeing 10, or 18, or 10:18 on the clock). But I would like to get clear on a couple more signs that speak to me.

I see 6:32 when I know my angel is near by; I want that number to confirm to me when my guide is close. When I hear a song that I just mentioned or just thought about, it’s because it signifies I’m on the right track (hehe punny). If I ever hear “Patience” or “Faith” come on my phone on shuffle or on the radio, it’s because the Universe is reminding me to have faith an have patience in any circumstance I find myself in.

There’s something else. I can’t put my finger on it. I don’t know if it’s a song, a person, a conversation, a symbol, an animal, a cloud formation, I don’t know. But I think I’ll know when I see it. It’s a sign that… it’s time to do something in particular. Again, don’t know what it pertains to or why how or, but it’ll just be a series of circumstances. (FEATHERS)

Kind of like how I started talking to Radha again in 2018! I saw her post on Instagram about graduating, and my inner voice told me it was time to reach out. Can’t explain how or why or where it came from, all I know is that it felt right.

And that’s the ultimate end-goal for me: I want to start hearing my inner voice again, clearly and concisely. It’s not exactly a legit “voice” per se – it’s a feeling, a “nudge” almost, a sudden thought that comes up in my mind that I have to do a certain thing or say a certain thing to someone, or go to a certain place. It’s like letting my feet lead me.

FEET! FOOT STEPS. That’s another symbol. I don’t know why. But if I ever see footsteps, ANYWHERE, or in any way, I have to follow. I have to.

Anyways, I’m on my break and I’m writing this log now because tonight, Radha’s coming over, but even before that, I’ve promised two people at work that I’d help them with some writing stuff. It’s nice to know that my writing is coming back into play; I’ve missed that passion of mine.

I’ve also decided something in my head that I’m going to share with myself here: I’m not going to be posting these logs online, at least not for a while or until it feels right. I have this feeling that I need to keep this energy to myself right now because it’s so, so important and vital and precious. I have to keep building this momentum, for myself first. I have to write for ME.

Wow, I’ve written quite a bit today! But I’ve got to get back to work now, this has been quite a long break LOL.

Tomorrow I’m off and I’m spending it with Radha, but I promise to write when I can!

Love always and in every way,

Me.

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