Day 54 + 55 – February 23 + 24, 2020

Well hello, hello! I wanted to use this log and this moment of quiet that I had in the house to write a really, really honest log, but… I can’t find my laptop charger and I just spent the last half hour or so just looking for it. I even asked St. Michael for help (my latest book said that he’s the archangel of helping you find things), but no dice. I haven’t been home in like four days so I can’t even retrace my footsteps and remember where I may have seen it last. I know where I usually type my logs at home and I know where I usually have it plugged in, but it’s not in either of those places. 

As a result, my battery’s about to die and I only have 10 minutes remaining before it shuts down. I don’t know why, (and I guess I also do), but instances like these (as well as this past weekend) makes me feel like I’m not in alignment with my higher-self or my innermost-being. I’m a little sad I guess. I know it’s not a progressive climb upwards and I know I’m still miles from where I used to be. There’s an old ghost voice in my head wondering what I’m doing wrong, but I know that this is all a part of my current process now. I just have to be patient I guess. 

I guess more than anything, I miss hearing my inner voice. I miss that feeling of “knowing”, the feeling of certainty that ran beneath my decisions. I still have my faith though, and I still believe. I’m still experiencing my synchronicities, seeing my angel numbers, and I know that I’m being looked after on some level. I know that everything I’m experiencing is for my highest good, however challenging. And really, it’s not like I’m suffering or anything; things aren’t horrible, and generally I’m pretty happy. I could stand to be happier, but that’s in my hands to make that happen and do what needs to be done. 

It starts with me. I’m glad for the opportunity of a new week, to begin afresh, cleanse the energy of this past week off of me and start over. There’s so many things I’d like to discuss man. Like being honest with myself about what I need to be honest about, about my craving for discipline, what I’d like to do differently. But now I’m down to 3%, and I’m also out of time – I have to get ready for work. What I’m hoping is that when I come home, my charger will have manifested somehow and that I can continue this log. If it doesn’t materialize, then I promise to write my logs on my phone if need me. Nothing will stop me from writing!

Okay, off I go. 

Don’t worry, me. Everything is going to be more than okay. You know this, I know this. Lots of deep affirming breaths and focus on the positive, always. 

LOVE YOU! 

Love always, 

Me.

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