Day 79 – March 19th, 2020

Hello, hello! Day 3, of quarantine? I think? LOL. I’m losing track of days honestly, thank goodness for my logs or else I’d have no idea what day it is. 

Okay, so more good news – Elizabeth said that we can head up to the cottage for the weekend!!! HOORAYYYYY FOR QUARANTINING IN NATURE!!!!! I’m honestly so happy – not only is it safe for us to go as far away from the city as possible, we’ll also still be self-isolating but doing it with more space, open fresh air, and room to roam. Oh man, I wish we could just stay there until all of this is over LOL. But Elizabeth has the same plan and will be staying there for about a week after we leave, I believe. She’s so lucky she has that place; now is the perfect time to escape to a remote cottage in the middle of nowhere. And we are so lucky that we know her and that she’s so wonderfully kind!

Adrian and Trevor will be coming too, which is nice. I think it’ll be good for them to get away too, because this whole quarantine thing has been pretty rough for them as well. Adrian been struggling to get through working at home because the VPN is bogged down with the amount of people working from home in his company, so he’s inputting orders and invoices at a very frustratingly slow rate. And Trevor lives with roommates who are his friends, but sometimes that particular situation doesn’t always work out in your favour and can also get quite trying too. So, I’m glad that they’ll both be coming with us. Plus, they’re both family now!

Today, I made my family do an hour of dance workout videos on Youtube, and then we sat down for about 20 minutes of guided meditations and positive affirmations. I’m so glad that they’re open to this because it really is so important that we keep our energy levels up, and keep our heads clear and calm during this time. I want everyone to be their happiest and healthiest and making the most of this quarantine as well. They also thanked me in turn for getting them up and about, so I’m super happy. It feels good to know that I’m doing my part, however small it may be. 

We’re going to make it through this, I know it. And my heart is so full of love and warmth because we’re doing this as a family, as well as we can, getting by day by day and keeping each other in positive spirits and good energy. We haven’t fell into arguing or discord because we’re each doing our part to keep busy and active, both separately and together, which is really important. 

Despite all the darkness that this pandemic has brought about, there’s also a lot of light to it too. I’ve never felt so connected to my family, my friends, even humanity as a whole. It’s so wonderful to see how people are pulling through for one another, offering each other kindness and empathy and shared moments of laughter when needed. I’ve never been on the phone so much (both talking and messaging), but for once it’s actually so nice because I’m constantly keeping up with all my friend groups – we’re sending each other videos of us working out, or going for runs, or cooking, and there’s plenty of memes to be shared as well. I even had a video chat with my regular vape lounge crew while they were seshing LMAO. 

Even though we’ve all had to “socially distance” physically, emotionally and mentally, it feels like we’re all just getting closer than ever. There’s always some kind of silver lining to any dark cloud. 

I promise myself that I will remain as positive as I can be throughout this. I have to continue to channel my light and uplift the hope and faith of those around me. And I promise to take care of myself too, as much as possible. 

I’m writing now a little bit later in the day, and for the last hour or so I have had a little bit more anxiety than usual, but I’m talking myself through every time I feel it come up, consciously breathing, and offering myself as much compassion as possible. I don’t know if it’s my anxiety or anxiety from my medication because honestly I’m pretty happy with my circumstances and I know that everything is going to be okay. 

Nevertheless, this is a reminder that some days are going to be harder than others, and I have to be as patient with myself as I am with everyone else in my life. This isn’t an easy thing to wrap your mind around – within months, life as we know it has completely changed. That’s not something that is easily processed, even if it is something we learn to adapt to for survival reasons. It’ll take some time for this to truly sink in. So patience and compassion will be of the utmost importance as these days go on. 

Okay I think it’s definitely my ADHD medication, LOL. My heart is racing inexplicably, but it makes sense because I’ve been off of it for 3-4 months, and like I didn’t start at the lowest dose – I went straight to my secondary dose. Yikes. 

I’ll try to keep taking it consistently and hopefully I’ll readjust to the dose. If not, I’ll just get CBD pills or Ashwagandha to counteract the resultant anxiety that comes from the medication. 

I just read that Vitamin C interacts with it, and I’ve been popping like 2000 mg of Vitamin C a day, LOL. That might be messing with how it interacts with me and my body, hmm. Maybe what I can do is, I can take my medication in the morning and my vitamins at night – that way, there’s less interaction between the two? We’ll see. I have nothing but time to figure out how all of this can work. 

Anyways, that’s about it for today. Luna is coming over to Daniella’s downstairs, so I’m going to pop down for a little bit and have dinner with them, and then later we’re having a family karaoke party! Do we know how to quarantine, or what!?!? LOL 

Love and tons of light, always, 

Me.

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