Day 86 to 89 – March 26th to 29th, 2020

Hello! It’s been a couple days since I’ve written last, but I actually kind of just unplugged this past weekend to the best of my ability and spent another weekend with my family, watching movies and playing board games. But it’s Sunday now, so another week of quarantine is about to begin. Is it called quarantine if we’re not officially on lockdown? I think the correct term is “self-isolation” of the voluntary kind, if you aren’t infected or came into contact with someone who was known to be infected. So many new terms these days though, it’s hard to keep track. 

Anyways! Here we are, going into week three of staying home. I’m just sitting outside on my patio and soaking up some sun because today’s one of the first days in a while where it’s been this warm, sunny and beautiful. I’m also having a little solo-sesh to celebrate the arrival of spring and hopefully some more outdoor seshes soon. 

I’ll be home for the next couple days, which I’m looking forward to! I’ve already chosen my painting theme and I’ve started on the background (a mermaid-goddess underwater), so that shall be my project for the next little while. And as the weather gets warmer and nicer, it’ll give me more opportunities to start sitting outside to work on my book! It’s hard to focus on it inside because my family is always around and watching shows and making various noises. If I’m just chilling and doing my own thing, it’s fine, but when it comes to writing my book I need creative flow and solo vibes. 

Honestly, I’m just thinking about how I’m doing and I just… I don’t know. Is it weird to say my heart is so incredibly at peace, and I’m super happy to be home? 

I know what’s happening is super sad. But I’m so thankful that I have a roof over my head and food to eat during these times. I wake up every day with a heart full of gratitude for my health and wellness.  

I’m just so happy that I did my inner work all these years and that I’m comfortable with myself as a result. I’m content sitting with just me, I’m content with the fact that the world is on pause right now and that I’m doing my part by staying home. I’m enjoying taking things day by day, I’m enjoying spending time with my family and I know how to take space for myself if need be. 

Life is good. I’ve settled into these circumstances as well I could have knowing that everything that is within my control, I will do my best to make the most of. This is life now, for now. I know without a doubt that rather than trying to resist what’s going on, it’s just best to accept (on your own time and with all the compassion, patience and grieving necessary), adapt (slowly and whilst understanding that adaptation is a roving-hill process instead of a steady incline upwards), and do what you can. 

Meditating has been working wonders for me during this time. When the world asks you to slow down, you slow down. I’ve been able to watch my anxiety come up, compassionately address it, and I’ve watched it slowly ebb away. Every time, it gets a bit easier and less intense. And every time, I’m left with a deeper and more profound sense of stillness and love. 

So, that’s how I’ve been doing lately, LOL. I think now, I’m going to set up my paint stuff and start painting away again. Everyone’s quietly doing their own thing so it seems about time to get that up and started. 

Le sigh. I’m happy, heh. 

Until next time!

Love always and light to all, 

Me.

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