Hello world! It’s me. Some time last year in 2016, I had this huge realization that my life was nothing like I wanted it to be. I was unhappy. I was having constant break downs. I was anxious, unsure about the direction my life was heading in. I was terrified. I didn’t know what the future held for me and all I could see was dark, unfathomable uncertainty.
It took reading some very eye-opening books, talking to some incredibly wise people, and finally getting myself into therapy to have me re-evaluate my life to understand what needed to change. I realized that I needed to change. There were certain things in my life that I had direct control over. It was time for me to pick myself up off the floor, and start living my life the way I was meant to.
The journey officially began on January 1st, 2017. I began to implement some very big changes in my life, and I haven’t looked back since. This blog documents every thing I have experienced in each and every day since this year began, and all the things I’ve learned as a result. It documents my memories, my triumphs, my failures, my fears and my choices. It allows me to look back, to remember the good moments and even appreciate the harder times because of where I am now.
But this journey isn’t over – I’m still on it.
I still don’t know what this year holds for me. There’s a lot that I have to do for myself still – so many fears I need to conquer, and the uncertainty is still there sometimes, looming like a monster in the back of the closet that is my mind.
It isn’t much, this blog. There are days I have earth-shattering realizations that may be relative or applicable to others, and then there are days that just, pass by as any other day might. But, this is everything to ME. And I’ve decided that I’d like to share it with YOU, whomever you may be. Maybe it’s presumptuous of me to even assume anyone will read these words.
If you find yourself stumbling across this blog and it piques your interest, then by all means – read away. Maybe you’ll stop after a couple posts when you realize, this isn’t anything special. Maybe you’ll pick at one or two posts, out of curiosity. But maybe, just maybe… you’ll find that you see a little bit of you, in me. Maybe you can take something away from my mistakes, the lessons I learn, the things I’ve experienced, my emotions and my thoughts.
I don’t know. I can’t tell you why I’ve suddenly decided to do this. I can only tell you that it felt right. So, there must be a reason, right?
If you’re coming on this journey with me, welcome. Not many get a glimpse into the inside of my mind, heart or soul. But, here I am, bearing it all.*
If you read any of this, even a word or sentence or paragraph of it, then I thank you, sincerely.
*(names of the people I know and the places I work, go to school, etc. will be changed in order to protect identities, as well as keep my own peace of mind that people I know won’t read this and trace it back to me).